Harnk
12-19-2003, 09:42 AM
We Fought For Lewis: A Crisis In Meal
We fought for Lewis, and subsequently found ourselves running for our lives. Lewis walked three paces behind us as we marched on through Lobster Valley, armed only with our lunch and good sense of what we thought were good condiments for the American sandwich. The sun was setting over Mt. Logwop as the Damp Henrys marched over the hills for battle. A turncoat from the Henry alliance had tipped us off about a sneak attack that would involve fried onions and an alarming supply of baked beans. Impending doom silenced both sides as we sent out our Battle Captains in hopes of a resolve that would alleviate any unnecessary bloodshed or waste of good lunch meats. The captains returned to their fleets and called for an immediate lunch, and both forces dropped their gear and sat down for a sandwich. That’s when I noticed Lewis pushing his face through the soil.
Nobody liked change, particularly Lewis, and as the nation was under the spell of a new fancy meal, brunch, Lewis was sure that this was indicative of the Damp Henry Ideal, which would put an embargo on all imported lunchmeats and open the floodgates for quiche and melons.
Glimp Wence, our Secretary of Meats was working overtime on a bill that would call for two lunch meals a day and a shift in focus away from Breakfast, which we all knew was not the most important meal of the day, so we stood strong in solidarity and pushed forward with our vision.
We finished our sandwiches and prepared for battle, and Bart Franks pointed out that the sunset reminded him of a gorgeous jar of Gulden’s. We knew victory was our only option. The infantry gathered out on the field and began their first assault, as the soldiers began to taunt the Henry camp with yells of "only penguins eat quiche" and "who eats a meal at 11:00 in the morning..Only jerks" and it was then that the archers began to fire off blankets of flaming hamdarts over Lobster Valley, and as they rained down over the Henry brigade. Lewis cried out as only someone like Lewis could "Liver be my wurst and the rye fields will burst". Mark "B.L.T" Fishman called for a cease fire, and we all knew Fishman was a closet brunch-goer, but he lowered our weapons anyway and retreated to the backline for a victory sandwich. Lewis said nothing as he polished off his third Rueben of the day, looking as though he had been defeated, what did Lewis know that we did not, and what happened with the baked bean attack. And just at the moment an avalanche of baked beans came rushing down the slopes of Mt Logwop , washing away what was left of the great Lunch Movement and their leader, Lewis.
We died for Lewis that day and knowing that lunch would live forever made it worth of lives
[Edited on 12-19-2003 by Harnk]
We fought for Lewis, and subsequently found ourselves running for our lives. Lewis walked three paces behind us as we marched on through Lobster Valley, armed only with our lunch and good sense of what we thought were good condiments for the American sandwich. The sun was setting over Mt. Logwop as the Damp Henrys marched over the hills for battle. A turncoat from the Henry alliance had tipped us off about a sneak attack that would involve fried onions and an alarming supply of baked beans. Impending doom silenced both sides as we sent out our Battle Captains in hopes of a resolve that would alleviate any unnecessary bloodshed or waste of good lunch meats. The captains returned to their fleets and called for an immediate lunch, and both forces dropped their gear and sat down for a sandwich. That’s when I noticed Lewis pushing his face through the soil.
Nobody liked change, particularly Lewis, and as the nation was under the spell of a new fancy meal, brunch, Lewis was sure that this was indicative of the Damp Henry Ideal, which would put an embargo on all imported lunchmeats and open the floodgates for quiche and melons.
Glimp Wence, our Secretary of Meats was working overtime on a bill that would call for two lunch meals a day and a shift in focus away from Breakfast, which we all knew was not the most important meal of the day, so we stood strong in solidarity and pushed forward with our vision.
We finished our sandwiches and prepared for battle, and Bart Franks pointed out that the sunset reminded him of a gorgeous jar of Gulden’s. We knew victory was our only option. The infantry gathered out on the field and began their first assault, as the soldiers began to taunt the Henry camp with yells of "only penguins eat quiche" and "who eats a meal at 11:00 in the morning..Only jerks" and it was then that the archers began to fire off blankets of flaming hamdarts over Lobster Valley, and as they rained down over the Henry brigade. Lewis cried out as only someone like Lewis could "Liver be my wurst and the rye fields will burst". Mark "B.L.T" Fishman called for a cease fire, and we all knew Fishman was a closet brunch-goer, but he lowered our weapons anyway and retreated to the backline for a victory sandwich. Lewis said nothing as he polished off his third Rueben of the day, looking as though he had been defeated, what did Lewis know that we did not, and what happened with the baked bean attack. And just at the moment an avalanche of baked beans came rushing down the slopes of Mt Logwop , washing away what was left of the great Lunch Movement and their leader, Lewis.
We died for Lewis that day and knowing that lunch would live forever made it worth of lives
[Edited on 12-19-2003 by Harnk]